Love Languages

As part of my course work for a university class that I am currently taking we had to study and apply the concepts from Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages for the last two weeks.  I had studied them before and have been using them in my own life and it was a great reminder that all of us need LOVE.    Some might think that the whole idea of love language is just a foolish idea and a great waste of time.   As for me I believe that everyone has a love language, it is the way we most feel love.  Every one of us is born with the need to be loved.  If the love comes in a different way then the way we receive it we might not feel it, notice it or even appreciate it.  Of the many things written in The Family: A Proclamation to the World the over all message is LOVE.  It shows us Gods love for His children by providing them a plan that is filled with His love.  “God so loved the world, that he gave His only begotten son.” We have been commanded to learn to love as Christ loves us.  He knows our individual love language and each of us can feel His divine love because He has learned how each of us feel and receive His love. 

In the proclamation it states, “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and their children...teach them to love and serve one another...Successful marriages are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, LOVE....” We also know that each of us is an unique individual with gifts and talents all our own.  So it stands to reason that each one of us would receive and give love in a way that is part of us.  If we are to truly learn to love others as Christ loves us we much learn how another receives love. Call it a language or what ever you want but each of us needs to understand the way others receive love so that we might give and show them love the same as the Savior does for us.  To me it seems selfish of a person to only give love the way they expect to receive it and not learn how their spouse or children receive it.   It is my belief that learning to give another love in their “language” might be hard, uncomfortable and awkward and yet it is in the learning and in the sacrifice of putting ourselves in another viewpoint that the Lord shows us His love, understanding and mercy.

I already knew what my love language was before the start of this project, but I took the test again just to see if things had changed.  My results were both no and yes.  I scored a 12, the highest in a category, for my main love language; Words of Affirmation.  My second and third languages were switched this time, maybe do to age or sheer exhaustion of raising a family for the last 32 years.  My second language is now Quality Time followed by Physical Touch.  For the project I needed to have my husband and children take the test, and I guessed each one correctly including their spouses.  I think it was because I have tried over the last several years to watch, listen, and be aware of how each one received loved.  Relationships are very important to me, and some of that is due to the fact that I love half way around the world from families and friends that I love dearly.  Money cannot buy love or relationships they take hard work, sacrifice and a willingness to listen and learn.

I belive that my live is richer, fuller and has more meaning when I give love to others the way that they receive it.  I feel closer to the Lord when trying to share my love and in turn He shares His divine love with me.  

For more information go to http://www.5lovelanguages.com , and take the quiz and find out for yourself and see if your life is not made better by loving others better. 

Something's a"foot"

Growing old has its benefits but it also has some negatives and lately it seems I have had my fair share.  Over the past few days I have become increasing thankful for my feet! They are a wonderful part of our amazing physical bodies and they get little or no attention.  Actually most people prefer not to talk about, see or feel feet and that is perfectly understandable.  They carry a persons weight around all day, they look funny, they are ticklish, and they can smell pretty bad!! Feet work long hard hours and rarely if ever get pampered, unless one lives in Thailand like I do. But most of the population taking care of ones feet is the last thing on their “to do” list.

Did you know that your foot contains 26 bones, 33 joints, more than 100 tendons, muscles, and ligaments, and a whopping 250,000 sweat glands? Here is another random fact: the 14 bones of the toes are among the smallest in the human body!

Okay now for those TOES...they do two very important things for us. Firstly, the toes, especially the big toe, help us balance. To test this, try standing on one foot with none of your toes touching the ground. After a while, relax your toes and let them touch the ground again. I'll bet balancing on one foot is a lot easier using your toes!

The second thing toes do for us is to help propel us forward while we are walking or running. The toes give that last little push off. (If you've ever walked in ski boots you know how difficult it is to go very fast when your toes can't bend at the end of your step.) Okay now I know why I couldn’t run in my ski boots – the one and only time I hit the slopes!

So why talk about feet and toes.  Well because I am grateful for what they can do.  It has been four days since I had surgery on my right foot.  My doctors had to removed my swollen and enlarged bursa sack, shave off a bunionette and had to break my 5^th metatarsal and realign it a screw to my baby toe!  And now I am off my foot for 6 weeks.  Literally, I have to stay off my foot, no weight bearing on it at all.  I have a set of crutches upstairs; a walker (like what older people use to walk) downstairs and today I resorted to sitting in a rolling office desk chair to get around faster!! Going for a walk, a run or a hike is totally out of the question...heck I can’t even swim right now.   So my mind and body are frustrated and I am learning to be profoundly grateful for my FEET!  

 

Girls Day Off

One of my dearest friends is leaving Bangkok to go onto another adventure in India so we decided to have a Girls Day Off...which is just an excuse to get together talk, laugh, shop and eat.  Renae wanted to visit the Damnoen Saduak floating market that is located 2 hours south of where we live.  So six of us pack ourselves into a van and left for the day.

We talked, laughed, shopped and ate till we could do no more and then we piled back in to the van for the trip home, it was a little quieter - but not by much.  Renae, I will miss you !!

Food, Friends and FUN what a great
Girls Day Off!!

Songkran - Chumphon Thailand

Happy New Thai New Year!  This year we packed out bikes on our van and drove to Chumphon Thailand and stayed for 4 days to celebrate Songkran!  It is just so nice to get out of the city and since this holiday is just one big water fight what a better way to experience it then on bikes and by the beach.

The drive is a bit long, about 4 hours so we had plenty of time for this...

Our home away from home...

I like to search B&B sites and small hotels and found this cute place called "SARA".  The view, food were all excellent and the price was too!

Perfect Place to getaway and get wet!

Biking the backroads, visiting the city & in the pool

March Madness

March madness take on a different meaning for me.  I love to see the different and crazy things that I can spot here in Thailand the month of March and call it My March Madness.  There are no brackets, no bets, no team colors...Just some FUN.

On a bike ride one day Ron and I saw a women making and selling popcorn (theater style) out of the back of a truck.  Not to be out done, cotton candy on  a scooter now that delivery at its finest!  One of our favorite things to eat off the street is roasted corn, it can be trusted to be healthy and good because they roast it with the skin on.  No need for butter just pick, pay and enjoy.

Every once in a while I will see roasted chickens just hanging around the supermarket!  No need to bag just pull of the string and throw in your cart.  Oh and then for the man in your life we have "Mansom" and drink to help your man become more handsome?  The snacking isle here always leaves me a bit confused...dried onion snack slices...I am okay with the dried bananas and the dried strawberries but ONIONS.  Seriously people will need some breath-mints to go with their snacks.  And finally strawberries, a rare sighting in Thailand and no wonder they are 850 Baht for a pound that is quite literally $25.15 per pound in US dollars.  Ron we will not be having strawberries anytime soon.  All in all March madness was a creative outlet for this crazy creative "Farang".  That is a generic Thai word for someone of European ancestry, no matter where they may come from. The Royal Institute Dictionary , the official dictionary of Thai words, defines the word as "a person of white race"

Remember Lot's Wife

I was preparing a lesson not to long ago and for some reason started to think about Lot's wife.  In the Old Testament Lot is Abrahams nephew.  Abraham, with Lot, fled the wickedness of their homeland to enter into a land of promise.  As I was studying I came upon the one of the shortest verses in the New Testament, Luke 17:32, which reads, "Remember Lot's wife."  Jesus Christ is speaking and telling His listeners of His second coming...

28 Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded; 

29 But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all.  

30 Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed.  

31 In that day, he which shall be upon the housetop, and his stuff in the house, let him not come down to take it away: and he that is in the field, let him likewise not return back. 

32 Remember Lot’s wife."

I then had to remind myself of the original story in the Old Testament..

 17 ¶And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed.

 18 And Lot said unto them, Oh, not so, my Lord:

 19 Behold now, thy servant hath found grace in thy sight, and thou hast magnified thy mercy, which thou hast shewed unto me in saving my life; and I cannot escape to the mountain, lest some evil take me, and I die:

 20 Behold now, this city is near to flee unto, and it is a little one: Oh, let me escape thither, (is it not a little one?) and my soul shall live.

 21 And he said unto him; See, I have accepted thee concerning this thing also, that I will not overthrow this city, for the which thou hast spoken.

 22 Haste thee; escape thither; for I cannot do any thing till thou be come thither. Therefore the name of the city was called Zoar.

 23 ¶The sun was risen upon the earth when Lot entered into Zoar.

 24 Then the Lord rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven;

 25 And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that, which grew upon the ground.

 26 ¶But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.

The Lord told Lot and his family to flee and to not "Look back".  I have been thinking about the idea of not looking back but looking forward.  Now, I think that looking back and learning is vital.  George Santayana in his book, The Life of Reason, wrote: "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."  Learning from history is crucial to not reprise all the horrific acts and mistakes  of the past.  I don't think that is what the Lord was telling us when He commands "Don't look back" and to "remember Lot's wife" in the scriptures.  I think He is telling us to not look back with our hearts, or do not long for things of the past when the future is ahead and not look back to bring up past mistakes over and over.  Lot's wife seem to have an attachment with the past that stopped her from moving forward towards the future.  Jeffery R Holland wrote, "In short, her (Lot's wifes) attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future."  

Many of us today, including myself, are much like Lot's wife.  We look back longingly at the past instead of seeing the bright future that is before us.  One of the reasons is that sometimes we can't always see what is ahead.  Unlike when driving, we see road signs that informs us of curves, hills, children crossing and milage signs so we know how far we have to go to our destination; life doesn't offer up signs.  We are left in the dark to plug along making the best decision we can with the information that is in front of us.  No one that I know can predict the future, oh some may try but in the end it the decisions that we make that determine our individual destiny.

Somedays I am overwhelmed with the past.  Trying to recreate moments that have slipped by instead of making wonderful memories today that will last a lifetime.  Sometimes I worry that I have forgotten to forgive someone in the past - or worse I need to seek their forgiveness.  I worry that past misunderstandings will come to light again, that my faults and weaknesses of the past cast a shadow on my life.  Most days are filled moving forward and yet everyone has those days when "they look back" and wish for the ease and comfort of the past. It wasn't long before I realized that this was not a wise way to think.  It is not a charitable way to view myself or others.  If something is in the past, leave it past.  We do not need to dig up our own faults and weaknesses or those of others.  We repent of mistakes, seek forgiveness and MOVE ON.  Jeffery R.  Holland said, " God doesn't care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are going, and with His help, where you are willing to go." That is the real thing that Lot's wife did not understand.  

Faith is what I live by everyday.  People ask me all the time, "How much longer are you going to be living in Asia?, Are you moving back to Washington state?, Are you going to sell your home?, Where are you going to live?"  I have NO answers to any of those questions.  I am living one day at a time, by faith.  There are many days when I want to "look back" but I am seeing the wisdom in just looking forward and living by faith.  It means at times I am walking in the darkness but I know that the lord will provide His light eventually.  Answers to prayers do come, in His time and not mine.  So I will just keep moving forward, looking back only to remember the love, joy and wonderful memories of days gone past.  I will not "look back" as Lot's wife did and desire to go back, to yearn for things past - I will look to the future with FAITH and keep my eyes on my dreams, however distant or far way they maybe.  I hold dear the counsel that was given me at age 16 in a special blessing..." Keep in mind the challenging fact that your aim in life is not to get ahead of others but to surpass yourself.  Begin today to be the person you want to be."

So I will "remember Lot's wife" and move forward with faith!