Guardian Angel

I have been thinking about dad all day.  After the funeral on November 2nd, I kept waiting for the realization of loss of my fathers earthly existence to hit me like a ton of bricks.  The feeling never came, yet I still thought it might happen so I waited.


Then on the day that John was scheduled for surgery, in Bangkok, while I was still in the US helping mom, something changed.  First, let me say that I have never been away from any of my children when they have had to have a major operation or even any kind of medical emergency.  My heart was being pulled apart by miles, 7438.57 miles to be exact!  I could almost feel it being torn apart, it was painful and I could find no comfort.  As I knelt to pray for the second time that night - I plead with my Father in Heaven, with all the tender mercies of a parent, that John would be alright and know that I loved him.  With tears pouring from my eyes and with a shaky voice I humbly asked, " Heavenly Father, if I can not be with my son, John at this critical time -could you please send my dad to be his guardian angel while he is in surgery."  As soon as I said those words the most calming peaceful feeling came over me.  It was as if I was encircled in the arms of not only my Heavenly Father but my earthy father as well.

President Joseph F. Smith once said,

"I believe we move and have our being in the presence of heavenly messengers and of heavenly beings. We are not separate from them. … We are closely related to our kindred, to our ancestors … who have preceded us into the spirit world. We can not forget them; we do not cease to love them; we always hold them in our hearts, in memory, and thus we are associated and united to them by ties that we can not break. … If this is the case with us in our finite condition, surrounded by our mortal weaknesses, … how much more certain it is … to believe that those who have been faithful, who have gone beyond … can see us better than we can see them; that they know us better than we know them. … We live in their presence, they see us, they are solicitous for our welfare, they love us now more than ever. For now they see the dangers that beset us; … their love for us and their desire for our well being must be greater than that which we feel for ourselves."

My dad lives and is watching me and is "soliciting for my welfare".  He is my Guardian Angel.

Good Bye Dad

It is with a very sad heart that I write this blog.  Today I spoke at the funeral of my father.  He was diagnosed with lung cancer a year ago two days before they were to come and visit me in Thailand.  It was a long hard battle that ended on October 24, 2012.

On Saturday October 20 I called and talked to my dad, little did I know that it would be my last conversation with him.  We had a wonderful talk full of laughter and stories.  I told him that I was off to the Philippines with John and Ron the next day so that it might be hard for me to talk to him the next week. He lovingly said no worries he wasn't planning on going anywhere.  We talk about me coming for a visit after Christmas as both John and Ron were scheduled for surgery the middle of November.  John needed to have his right ACL repaired and Ron had to have a hernia repaired.  He told me about his recent doctor's visit and that he had decided to forgo any more treatments.  I said that I was in support of that decision, as for someone who had competed 6 months of chemo treatments, it is about quality of life.  We talked about what that decision  might mean and I told him that I loved him, that he was an amazing father and that I would always be there for mom.  He thanked me and told me to have a great time in the Philippines, we said love you and the call ended.

Wednesday morning on a very remote island in the Philippines i received a urgent email telling me to call home as soon as I could.  I grabbed Ron's blackberry and called my sister immediately.  She told me that dad was not going to last thru the night (it was Tuesday evening in the states) and I didn't understand.  I had just talked to him what happened in a few short days.  She explained to me that my dad had just took a turn for the worst and went down hill with in hours.  He was a home in bed barely getting oxygen and in extreme pain.  She told me Audrey, my oldest daughter, was there and was able to talk to her "Papa" one last time.  My heart was so heavy - it felt like someone was literally sitting on it.  My dad was gone.  I was never going to hear him say, " Carolina, (that is what he called my mom), number one is on the phone!"  Even as I write this the hole in my heart is gapping wide open and the tears flow easily.

I wasn't able to return to Bangkok until Saturday and then turned around and left for the US on Sunday morning.  When I landed in Seattle I had been traveling for almost 32 hours.  It was a crazy few days of trying to wrap my mind around the fact that my father was gone, and still to this day it seems unreal.  I am grateful for the love of family and friends who provided me with strength through their unceasing prayers, through their hugs - both physically and imagined, and through the memories they shared with me about how my father loved and cared for them.  When someone wonderful passes from this mortal existence it is comforting to know that they had touched so many lives.

We had a family viewing Thursday evening which was a tender sacred time for our family.  I felt so much love in that small room and knew that we would be all right because we loved one another.  My mom has been a source of strength as I watch her deal with the loss of her eternal companion, husband and best friend.  They were a team in life and will remain a team still.

I had the honor and privilege to be able to speak at the funeral.   Gene, my bother, did an amazing job speaking also.  The grandchildren and great grandchildren sang - it was a beautiful service.


 Ron and John were unable to be there due to school and surgery commitments.  David, Mandy and baby Kellan were not there either.  David is in New York working, Mandy and Kellan are in Ohio with her parents. They were all there in spirit and I was uplifted by their prayers and love.

My dad was a source of strength to me, his love for me never faltered - even when I did at times.   My life has been richly blessed because of my dad.   I am a better person for having the support of a wonderful father and an excellent mother.  I am indeed blessed.

Princess Bride

Happy to announce that Laura Irene Gailey is now Laura Irene Gailey Sorensen

She is truly a Princess Bride

Scott and Laura Sorensen

Family is Forever

Backyard Reception in Seattle

Desserts Anyone?

Austin and the refreshments - no need for a plate!

Family, Friends and loved ones!

If a picture says a thousand words then these must describe the day to perfection!

Finding Time for FAMILY

A week before your daughters wedding what do you do?  Well I plan a week of family time at the CABIN!  It is not like my caterer backed out at the last minute and I have to find a new one in less then two weeks,it is not like I just returned home from a quick weekend trip to Rexburg and the graduation of daughter who is getting married and it is certainly not like I am feeling that I need to get my backyard in order for the reception or anything - then why oh why did I plan the family time for now!  It is because when you are an expat family you have limited time to do all that you need to to in the two month summer break and when you have a husband that can only get two weeks off in the summer - you make the most of the time you have.  One week family vacation, one week wedding and reception!

Okay now here is how it really is...while my mind is focused on having some quality time with the family and preparing for Laura and Scott's Wedding.  Here is what all the guys find time for at the cabin!







Kellan was a little young to be hanging out with his cousin, Austin, but that doesn't mean that Austin had any trouble "hanging" out by himself!

  Ron was able to relax from being an executive for Coca Cola and spend some wonderful time with the family...our whole family.  Audrey, Toren, Austin, David, Mandy, Kellan, Laura, Scott and John - oh and of course me his amazing wife!

The Graduate

Each year for the past ten years I have driven to Rexburg Idaho at least twice and sometimes more!  Why - because that is where three of my children went to college. Audrey graduated BYU-Idaho April 2006, David graduated April 2012 after serving a two year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and now it is Laura's turn to graduate.
One of my dreams was to seem my children graduate from college, especially my girls.

On July 18, 2012 Audrey and I jumped into my truck and drove the much travel route from Seattle to Rexburg via Spokane and Missoula Montana!




It was a fast weekend and we had to get back home so that we could pick up Ron from the airport and we had a wedding plans to finalize!  We helped Laura clean her apartment - well as you can see I helped and Audrey was resting her tired eyes!


We had a great weekend with Laura and Scott, and his parents.  Next week it is family time at the cabin on Whidbey Island and then the big wedding day - August 2.

The BIG Bang Theory

Whidbey Island in the summer is one of greatest places to be.  I grew up celebrating the 4th of July at our cabin almost every year...and I was grateful for the chance to take some of my family over this year!

The Big Bang Theory is just that a theory!  Here is my theory for the BIG fireworks on the 4th of July...it is a MAN/BOY thing.  Now don't get me wrong I am happy to celebrate the birth of our nation - but seriously do men really need a holiday to blow things up!  Apparently they do and I felt a little peer pressure to "buy" into the Big Bang Theory this past July. I am happy to report that I did not give in to that pressure, however some ten boxes of sparklers showed up in my grocery bag...Austin did you put those in Nana's shopping cart?

The Gailey's and the Forsberg's really know how to Celebrate!!

Midwest Memories

One might think that John would have enough time with just me, his wonderful mother, since he is the only baby bird left in the nest!  But to my great astonishment he wanted to take a road trip to the Midwest with me! Okay in all truthfulness I had to bribe him with a few things... the hotels we stayed in had free wi-fi and breakfast, I would let him listen to his music in the car and I promised him that I would not stop at any country cemeteries while driving through small towns.  I do have a propensity to stop an meander though small cemeteries - I find them fascinating!  Pinky promise made..we got a plane in SLC and flew to St. Louis!  We drove up the Mississippi River to a small town called Nauvoo.      

Nauvoo is the area that I am looking at to buy some property and build a bed and breakfast. Someday I might make that dream happen, until then it is just a dream - but a wonderful dream it is!

 Here are some of my favorite photos...

Logan by Three

The last three summers that I have traveled back to the United States I have found myself in Logan, Utah. This city of about 48,000 of the nicest people is situated in one of the most stunning valleys in all of Utah.  I just love the area, it reminds me of a simpler time.

My favorite running store is located there and I make a rather large purchase every year.  Due to the fact that I live in Thailand I have to take 2 pairs of running shoes, 12 pairs of socks and of course some electrolyte tablets to see me through.  I have been running in Thailand for past two years, it is flat, hot and humid.


 I took advantage of a cool sunny day in Logan and ran on a canyon trail.  It reminded me of my running in Hong Kong, minus the snakes!

Running brings me peace and makes me glad to be alive!

The Arrival of Kellan

Weighing in at  ( ?  )

  Kellan (  ?   ) Gailey

 made is appearance into this world this afternoon at

   ( ?  )!  

Those responsible for his wonderful event are no other then my son and daughter in law

David and Mandy Gailey.  

Welcome to our family my precious little grandson.  i am just going to tell you a little secret...Nana's are moms with LOTS of frosting!

I am here to love and spoil you!

Bananas

I really do not have space for a garden here at my home in Thailand but I have a nice little Banana tree. 
This week I was able to harvest my first crop...
Now I just have to wait until they become yellow and then we can enjoy.

OCD - Organizationally Challenged Diva

My STUFF

I was asked to give a lesson on being organized to a group of young women here in Thailand.  I am not sure why I was asked...


So I like things in boxes... that is not a crime.  I have a healthy relationship with my labeler...not a crime either.

Okay...I am a little OCD! I admit and I am calling it a feature not a flaw.

Cupboard, Refrigerator, Cupboard

Anybody out there want help...organizing things make me happy! 

Bruised, Battered but NOT Broken

Our flight home from Krabi was on Monday so we had to wait until then to get John to a large and private hospital to get checked out.  Monday night at about 3AM he was complaining of leg pain.  I went to look at it and he had developed a hematoma the size of a dessert palate behind his left knee.  It was some some concern to me as was aware of compartmental  syndrom and the seriousness of that.  We made it on the earliest flight home and went straight to the hospital in Bangkok.  After seeing 4 different Doctors, having test run and an MRI - we were allowed to take John home.  They wanted to keep him over night but John felt that he would rest better at home.

John is a very lucky young man.  He was truly watched over and protected from any major harm.  These are actually pictures taken TEN days after the accident.  It looks as if he has a knee cap on the back of his knee cap!

John has been in pain and it hasn't been easy for him.  He was confined to a wheel chair for the first two weeks at school.  He could afford to miss any classes as it is the end of the year and finals are next week. He has tried to do his best and I am very proud of him.  I am very grateful for protecting hand that watched over him through all of this.  It could have been so much worse.  He was bruised and battered but NOT broken and I grateful for that.

In Just Two Weeks

Things can change in a blink of an eye, or in our case in "just two weeks."  It was only 14 days ago that Ron, John and I flew to Krabi to spend some family time together scuba diving and seeing a new part of Thailand.  We enjoyed it so much that we wanted to take David, who is living here while working an internship.  We packed our suits, regulators and a few clothes and headed south for a three day weekend.

Many things can change in just a short time...

 Getting on Board for our diving adventure

Chicken Head

Two weeks ago the sun was shining and the sea was clam.  Today the thunderstorm clouds were visible and once we left the protected bay the water was a rocking and rolling!  But, still any day you get to dive in paradise is a great day.  That us until you get in the water and the visibility is about 8 feet.  It was hard to see the dive master, hard to see the aquatic life and hard for me to really enjoy the three dives.  Still, we did see some amazing small undersea life.  I saw a beautiful seahorse, some nudibranches - and one of the dives sites had an interesting rock formation, called chicken head.

Sea Horse

Visibility Poor

David and Heidi getting ready to DIVE DIVE DIVE!

John is up and out!

 That was on Saturday...then on Sunday afternoon we decided to take a little scooter ride to see the beauties of Krabi and then the unexpected thunderstorm lead to this...

John slid off the road and was extremely lucky to not to have been injured worst then he was.  The ambulance was a small pick up truck with no medical supplies - only the back board.  It was a crazy time - the ambulance - aka TRUCK left with John for the government hospital with out either one of us and with NO passport or ID.  Ron quickly asked if one  of the young Thais that stopped to help would take show him the way to the hospital while David and I waited for the scooter company came to pick up the scooter.  John had not a single broken bone, major road rash on his elbows - sore and bruised but appeared to be okay....

Questions

While living here in Thailand I have had the opportunity to be involved in a weekly study group.   The first part of this year we studied the parables of Jesus Christ as found in the New Testament.  I had previously taken a class covering this topic when I was in college and was interested in the depth of each parable.  In this study group we discussed the parables, the history behind them, the possible meanings and interpretations and most importantly how the parables apply to our lives today.  It was an amazing 4 months of study.

However, the last 4 months with this study group have been life changing.  We decided to read and study "Change Your QUESTIONS Change Your LIFE" by Dr. Wendy Watson Nelson.  This book has had a very profound effect on how I view life, the questions I ask myself, the questions I ask others and most importantly the questions that I ask the Lord.

She teaches us that there is great power in QUESTIONS.

"Great questions can motivate us to change because they invite us to reflect".  Early in the book the author invites us to think and ponder a few simple questions..."Are your questions encouraging you, enlarging your life, expanding your vision and enriching your relationships?" 
                                                                               --Wendy Nelson
Just by asking myself those simple question I begun pondering the conversations that I have with others as well as the ones that I have with myself.  When I ask questions to my families members do are the questions more like a judgment statement?  When I ask myself questions about the future do I limit my vision by using my current situation?  I really began to realize that if I wanted better relationships I needed to ask better questions.  If I want to have a great life then I need to ask great questions.

In the book, Wendy Nelson, lists seven questions that she believes, if you ask them with an open heart can change your life.  She illustrates, gives examples and helps to understand why these seven questions can actually make our lives more meaningful.

1. What is it that I am to accomplish while on this earth or why am I here at this time and what should I be doing?
2. What is the one question that I most need to have answered today?
3. What are three words to follow for great life?
4. Whose agenda is this supporting?
5. If I were to pray with real intent how would i manage difficult situations?
6. How can I be more true to myself?
7. What do I know to be true?

"Great questions can build relationships! They can connect people heart to heart... great questions can reveal another's heart...great questions can introduce new information."  Wendy Nelson

I have taught the New Testament to youth groups many times and I am always amazed and how Jesus, the master teacher, taught - he asked great questions.  One of the things that I like to do when I read the scriptures is to invision the Lord asking me the question...Here are a few from the book of John.

• John 1:38   "Heidi, what seek ye?"
• John 5:6     "Heidi, wilt thou be made whole?"
• John 20:13  "Heidi, why weepest thou?"
• John 21:16  "Heidi, lovest thou me?"

Christ asked such great questions!  I find that my relationship with the Savior becomes stronger when I am answering His questions.  Prayer is POWER.  If I want to have a better relationship with my Savior - I need to be asking better questions of myself, I need to be listening for the answers He provides. I need to be doing the same things with those in my life that I want to build relationships with.  If I can change my questions so that they encourage, enlarge and enlighten my life as well as those I love my life will change.

CHANGE YOUR QUESTIONS CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Kudos for Krabi

Spring break came late for some of us that live in Thailand, April 16-20. In the past we have always planned interesting Asian adventures but our son David was returning to Thailand for an internship so we couldn't plan anything far away this year. But that didn't stop us from enjoying a few days away from home...

We decided at the last minute to take a short flight south to Krabi, Thailand for a little scuba diving off Ao Nang Beach.

I would definitely give KUDOS for KRABI.  We had a great few days!

Sunset on Ao Nang Beach, Krabi

 A little bit of this and a little bit of that in Krabi

Scootering around the town, scuba diving three beautiful sites, a visit to the "Shell Cemetery" (LOL), some great food, relaxing by the pool and to do all that with two of my favorite men, Ron and John.  I am one lucky lady.

Impossible Being Possible.

The most unusual thing happened today, Ron and I found ourselves at the mall with a little extra time, so we check out the movies.  Here in Thailand we might have to wait a little while for first run movies but we can both see a show, buy a large popcorn and two large sodas for less then $15.00 - so it is worth the wait.  Today we happened to stumble on a movie called " Salmon Fishing in the Yemen".  My first thought was this was a British version of a "River Runs Though It", and to my surprise it was a movie, not so much about fishing as it was about the impossible being possible.

The main story is that of a British fisheries expert is approached by a consultant to help realize a sheik's vision of bring the sport of fly fishing to the desert and embarks on an upstream journey of faith and fish to prove the impossible possible. In the movie there is a sheikh that wants to introduce Salmon into the Yemen River. 

 The sheikh will spare no expense to see this happen.  He says, " It would be a miracle of God if it happened.  I  know it. If God wills it, the summer rains will fill the wadis and the salmon will run the river.  And then my countrymen, all classes and manner of men will stand side by side and fish for the salmon. Their natures, too, will be changed, they will feel the enchantment of this silver fish and then when talk turns to what this tribe said or that tribe did...then someone will say, " Let us arise, and go fishing." 

That sounded a bit religious to me and made me thing of that line in the great fishing story, "A River Runs Though It"..."In our family there was no clear line between religion and fly fishing."  I was then remember reading some where someone once wrote, "Casting a fly becomes a ritual of grace".  During the fishing scenes in the movie – I could help notice the ribbon like line wave back and forth over the river and realized that fly fishing is a really graceful ritual; a religious act of patience, if you will.

My favorite line of the movie was, "I believe in it because it is impossible” just that one line opens ones mind to possibilities.  We live in a world that to me seems so closed minded - so structured we can't believe in anything. I think the world would be a different place if all of us could look for possibilities even in the impossible.

• v Like realizing that it is possible to have a lasting marriage in this day and age two-day marriages and of drive by divorce.
• v Like realizing that it is possible to raise intelligent, productive, independent children that are happy and healthy.
• v Like realizing that it is possible to be happy during temporal trials, such as loss of job, in ability to have children or as in my case cancer.
• v Like realizing it is possible to dream of things for the future when the future might look dim.
• v Like realizing that it is possible to live with the Savior if I just work to be a little better each day.

“Salmon Fishing in the Yemen” is called a lighthearted movie, yet to me it had me thinking about the possibilities of the impossible.  I have hopes and dreams for the future and I now see that the impossible can be possible with a little “FLY FISHING”  - so I am going to CAST my LINE in to the WATERS of doubt and CATCH me some possibilities.  And to quote from the movie...

"I believe in it because it is impossible” 

Oh and BTW ladies in the movie Ewan McGregor is pretty easy on the eyes and really adds to the beautiful scenery!  ENJOY

A Full Quiver

I woke up this morning thinking about how to blog about some of the feeling that I have been having lately.  My life is so full and blessed because of my children.  I cannot think of anything more important to be then a wife, mother and a nana.  In American news lately there has been some harshly spoken words on the validity of women working outside the home and those that stay at home.

I have been in both places: for the first 10 years of parent hood I was working outside the home and for the last 20 years I have been able to stay at home.  Both are hard and both have made me realized that any kind of WORK is just plain hard.  I have also received blessing from working.  While in the work force I was able to go out for power lunches, had a nice wardrobe, and received pay raises and vacation and sick time.

When I chose to stay at home those blessing ceased to exist – but I received blessing nonetheless, the ability to hug each of my children when they came home from school, smiles on their dirty faces, providing a listening ear whenever THEY wanted to talk and to hold their hands and to wipe their eyes when things got tough. 

I worked hard outside the home, it was hard to leave my first daughter with the babysitter at 6 weeks old – but economics required it.  When our son was born my husband when back for his MBA we had to down size and economize because we both worked part time jobs.  WORK is hard and being a good mother is a lot of  hard work ;whether I am working out of the home or in the home …and yet I find that I have been extremely happy through it all.

I was reminded of a few verses in Psalms 127…

“Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward…happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them.”

I am not sure if having four children constitutes a “quiver full” but then I have had so many children pass through my front door I can no longer count them all.  Some stay for a few days, others stay for months or even years and yet there are some that know that my door is always open and keep returning time and time again. 

Just a few of the extra children in my quiver

I can truly say that being a good mother has been hard work, being a good nana is no work at all, it is blessing for having worked hard to be a good mother!  My quiver is full and runneth over.

March Madness

March Madness for me isn't about basketball - it is about a last minute flight to the US to spend sometime with AUSTIN...

(and of course Audrey, Toren, David, Mandy & Baby, Laura and Scott.)

Our first big to do thing was to drive to Spokane and meet Toren, who was on business.  Then I was going to do a solo drive to Rexburg to visit the "college" kids.

 Here is how we take a road trip with the AUSTINATOR!!

Nana's Ipad, brushing teeth, listening to some cool tunes and his own little bedroom - the bathroom!!

It truly was a SOLO road trip to Rexburg,not a soul in sight but to me the sight filled my SOUL with awe and wonder.

Talk about injuries during March Madness, Austin had his share...

 His whole tumb nail came off - OUCH!!

Nana came to the rescue and did what all good Nana's do - go to lunch.  I am lucky because Austin loves my favorite place to eat, Chipotle's!

After lunch we headed to Costco so I could bring back to Thailand a tote and a few suitcases full of cereal, books, spices and Easter candy and whatever made it into my cart.  It may not have help Austin's tumb nail to grow any faster but it made for a great way to get the Madness out of March!