SURVIVOR

Survivor…


Ten years ago this month (October 2000) I was chosen to play a tough game, Survivor. It was a little surprising that my name came up to play as I never even submitted an entry form. Nevertheless, I received a phone call, on September 4th 2000 informing me that my number came up, I was going to have the chance to play – CANCER SURVIVOR!!

As with any reality game, one must be selected based on certain criteria like; history in family, smoking, lack of exercise, not nursing your babies, and overweight. I fortunately meet none of the criteria but that didn’t’ matter when one is playing the BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR game. My name was called and I was in the game, like it or not. At first it was a mind numbing feeling and I kept asking why was I chosen for this? A few weeks after the initial call I was put into the game with meeting the “TEAM” of doctors who would help me win the game.

My first challenge was to tell my family. I remember sitting the children down, Audrey 16, David 13, Laura 9 and John 5 and trying to explain to them what was wrong with Mommy. Once I said the word ‘CANCER” the kids faces hung and tears flowed. Each child reacted in a different way. Audrey took charge and held John, David said that he would always be my sunshine boy and make me smile even when it got hard and Laura just got quiet. Laura’s concept of CANCER was a death sentence – so she had already went to the end of the game. I explained to her and have used the same phrase often over the years with all my children for other trials, “What is the worst that can happen?” Laura answered, “You will die” – to which I replied, “ maybe but I will be in Heaven and I can’t think of a better place to end up” – She understood that Heaven is a beautiful place where God is and God is good, kind and loving so all would be okay. My fist challenge was hard, but I SURVIVED.

No sooner did I complete the first challenge did the next one come, “TEAM PINK” had decided that surgery, lymph node dissection, 8 weeks of radiation followed by 6 months of Chemo therapy would be how the game was to be played. Why couldn’t I have been stranded in the Outback , like my favorite Survivor Episode? I would have gladly taken on the bugs, dirt and possibility of being voted out then to have had the game I was getting set to play.

I was physically fit going into surgery, but that didn’t matter – what was supposed to be an outpatient process turned into a three day hospital stay due to a challenge with the anesthesia and medications that they gave me. Turned out that I was so healthy I didn’t need as much as the “Normal” person and I had a adverse reaction. But, I passed that challenge and moved on to the next. Missing a big part of one’s body – can make one feel a little shy and uncomfortable but I just jump right in, to the pool that is. I begun to swim to improve my muscles in my arm, I needed full extension and rotation – so as soon as I was able I jumped. I received immunity from ‘TEAM PINK” and took the month of October off, which was National Breast Cancer Awareness month – so “GO PINK”

November and December brought the challenge of Radiation. Talk about being out in the elements – My skin was burned in a place that had never even seen the SUN – and I didn’t even get to enjoy the SUN, beach or a book. It was a big sterile room with a large X-Ray gun pointed at my chest! No sand, surf or suntan lotion. The other challenging fact was that my home life was a little crazy. I had lost my ability to be independent. Radiation makes one extremely tired, Ron was working and traveling for Washington Mutual (Killed by the feds in 2008), Audrey was in High school, David was in middle school, Laura was being bused to a school across town and John had just started kindergarten. I was the person who always was helping others, I had a real hard time asking for help. But, sometimes you have to create alliances’ with others in order to stay in the game. So, I learned to reach out, ask for help not just from my family but from friends also and much to my surprise they were willing to help me play the game and were praying that I would WIN!

During the last weeks of December I was granted immunity again by “TEAM PINK”. It was nice to be home and spend the holidays with the family. I tried to put on a good show, but I knew what challenge was coming and it weighted heavy on my mind that Christmas. I received some welcomed council from an Elder in my church. He told me that I would live to see my children raised to maturity and that was the hope that filled my heart as I entered into the next phase of the SURVIVIOR GAME!

I don’t think that if anyone was offered a challenge they would pick – Chemotherapy treatments! They are just plain HARD! Between the “HORSE” pills that I had to swallow, the injections, the implantation of a port catheter, the nausea and vomiting (the toilet bowl became my constant friend) and the out of control feeling – it was definitely a challenge that stretched me far beyond what I thought my limits were. This was the longest challenge, six very long months. I was not left alone, although my family and close friends were there to help pick up the pieces of everyday physical life – the real challenge was mental. I can remember just holding the tablets in my hands knowing I had to take them knowing that they were going to make me sick. With tears streaming down my face I would pick up a glass of water and swallow! For six months, Jan through June, I took pills with tears flowing, had injection with tears flowing and tried to cover up the tear stains with laughter. I would put on a smile and try hard to keep being a mom and teacher. Most days, especially as the months wore on, I would find myself in bed at least 2-3 weeks of the month. It was an exhausting treatment, especially for one so active.

In July 2001 my treatments were finished and so were my challenges in this SURVIVOR game, so I thought! Little did I know that the biggest challenge was still ahead of me. I found out that I was allergic to 2 of the drugs used to help prevent a reoccurrence- and that is when the biggest challenge started. I had to explain to my doctors that I was DONE with treatments; it was hard to be an advocate for oneself. Going against the advice of doctors to try more drugs for prevention was to them just plain crazy, yet I knew that it was the right decision for me. I need to get on with my life, I need to believe that I was a survivor and move on. So in September of 2001 exactly one year from my surgery I had my last visit with my oncologist and doctors. I was on my own. The big challenge now was to try to get my life back, which was mentally hard. For a whole year the doctors had control over me and it was difficult to remember who I was, for I was not the same young woman and yet I hadn’t had the time to figure who Heidi Gailey was now.

I am proud to say that now after a TEN years, a lot of self discovery and introspection I found myself, a SURVIVOR of cancer – but more importantly a better person then I was ten years ago. Cancer was a blessing in my life, I learned what is important and what is not. I learned to LOVE much and fear LITTLE. I am proud to be a SURVIVOR and would like to this month to thank everyone who has touched my life – you are important, you matter and I am grateful for you.

To all the other Breast Cancer Survivors – I like “TEAM PINK” –Lets hang out next October.

Lost and Found

When something is lost, is it really lost or just misplaced?   I was thinking about "LOST" things today and also about the JOY that comes to us when the item is "FOUND".

• I have been known to say, "I have LOST my keys", which is really not true as I have just misplaced them and it is just can't remember where they are.
• Over the years I have "LOST" weight - actually I think that I have just misplaced it because I always seem to find it again!
• Many of you think I have 'LOST" my mind, but fortunately it is still safely stored in my cranium.
• Like so may others American, my vote gets "LOST" in the politics of a nation.
• I would like to say that I have never been "LOST" while driving, but I am an honest person who now owns a GPS.
• My favorite is when I am "LOST" in a book, that is when I think I find myself the most.
• The worst is when a child is "LOST" whether that is physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually.
• In my 50 years I have "LOST" contact with friends and that is sad on so many levels.\
• I have "LOST" a tooth only to find that it has been replaced by a new one, unlike someone who has "LOST" an arm or a leg.
• I have not "LOST" my husband, children or parents to death, but I  have "LOST" friends and other relatives.

As I was thinking of "LOST" things, I realised some of the most important things in life I have never "LOST"

• My faith, love and testimony in my Father in Heaven and His son, Jesus Christ
• My belief in my religion and respect for all things that are good.
• My love of service to others, especially my family and friends
• My talent to converse with  people, and even myself on occasion.
• My capacity to learn from life, even those things which are hard.
• My skill of  laughing at myself - even when I am crying.
• My gift of trying always to look at the big picture.
• My desire to improve each day, to be better then the day before.

When I have "LOST" something I usually experience "JOY" when said item is "FOUND".  My ability to find happiness over even the smallest of things, as finding my keys makes my heart skip a beat and I am thankful for the recovery of the lost item.  The same holds true when I have lost contact with a friend only to reconnect months, years or even decades later.  The "JOY" that I experience teaches me that their must be opposition in "ALL" things.  If I had never "LOST" anything I would not know the 'JOY" of having it be "FOUND".


In the eternal scheme of  this life, I am grateful that there is a "LOST and FOUND"

Moontrekker 2010

Dear Blog,


I am sorry that I have been ignoring you these last few days.  I have a really good excuse, I have been in Hong Kong for a charity endurance competition race, called the Moontrekker.  It is at night and allows some crazy hikers and the insane trail runners to compete against the minds, hearts, and legs of other Hong Kong adventurers through the sleepy Po Lam Zen Monastery in Tai Tong Tsai and leads hikers up Hong Kong second highest peak on Lantau Island, 3064 feet. 


My fellow crazy hikers, Kim, Denise, Marj and I stared our adventure by taking a 30 minute boat ride to Lantau Island to start the "amazing" race.  We got there with plenty of time for us to stretch and then watch the RAIN start.  It rained for about an hour before the start time of 11:20PM, but then the gun went off we started hiking and the RAIN stopped.  But it left the trail wet and muddy in a lot of places. Whichmade for some interesting stepping ( the cow pies didn't help either). 

I have to say that it was pretty interesting hiking on a trail that you are unfamiliar with in the dead of night!  Only about 700 crazy people ventured out to participate in this event.  Half of them thought that it would be a good idea to run or hike the 40K route, I showed a little more brains and decided that 25K was good enough for me.

Since I had been running in Thailand, the distance was not difficult for me, the stairs were another matter altogether. We reached the start of the last section at about 6:00 AM - and in one of the pictures above you can see the SUN just getting ready to rise and we still have to climb to the top of that mountain. At this point we have been hiking for 6 1/2  hours in dead of night with an elevation gain of about 1500 feet.  We now have to make an elevation climb of 1500 feet in less then 2K - that is a lot of steep stairs, which is why we called our team "STAIR CRAZY"!!

The views were amazing...



Once to the top we had a short 2K down the other side...it was a most "EXCELLENT ADVENTURE" and we finished...

So, Blog as you can see I had a wonderful crazy time with some pretty amazing women, thank you Kim, Denise and Marj!! 



Lifes a Beach

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a few weaknesses (notice that I said a few, some of my family might think that it is more like many) and the one that is on the top of my list is...I love a good BEACH!  Growing up I spent my summers on Whidbey Island.  My grandparents had a two bedroom cabin on the beach.  It was built the year that I was born, so it is 50 years old too!  My parents own the cabin now so I still try to spend time over there when I can.  I love the sand, surf and sun.  I read Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, my favorite book, for the first time while sitting in the sun at the cabin when just a young teenager.  In those early years I would take the dingy rowboat out, anchor it about 20 feet from the shore and sit and read with the sun shining down on me and the boat rocking me almost asleep. I loved the beach then and it hasn't changed - this weekend I rediscovered that....

LIFE IS A BEACH

Koh Samet Weekend Trip

Welcome to another adventure in Thailand with Heidi and Laura, oh and we had to bring the boys, Ron and John, this time.  It was a great two days of no work and all play.  Here is a short video of our adventure.  Thank you Laura for doing the "filmography".  I LOVE the SUN!!

Jealous YET?

Floating Market

I have shopped at both Costco and Walmart., I have been to the "wet" market in Hong Kong and to the MBK mall and the Chatuchak Weekend Market. I have to say that last week when we drove to visit the floating market, it was a wonderful adventure in shopping as well as "people" watching.

It was a "COLORFUL experience.

Grateful for the Small and Simple Things

Lately I have been pondering about all the things that I am grateful for, there are so many and it seems impossible to number them.  Last Saturday, on one of our adventures, we drove to visit the famous floating markets.  We arrived early at the first market and decided to take a river ride.  Laura hadn’t been on a boat on one of the canals so this was her opportunity.  As we traveled on the water we could see the filth of the water, sometimes the smell permeated the air.  As we entered one of the side canals we noticed homes and village people preparing for the day.  At that moment I became fully aware of how grateful I am for simple things, like clean water.  I have a water cooler in my home, as do most people in Bangkok to hold purified water for drinking and cooking.  The water is not really safe for drinking, it is okay to brush your teeth and for hygiene but they recommend bottled water for all other uses.  That morning I got up and showered in warm clean water in the privacy of my bathroom.  So when we witnessed the daily preparations done in the filth of that river in the open, my heart was saddened for the extreme poverty of some of the people here.  Yet, at the same time my heart was full of gratitude for just clean water.  We take so many things for granted, clean water, a house that is not in a constant state of collapsing, and privacy to take care of physical hygiene.  In this world of selfish men and women who are arguing over political issues, there are people who are happy with their quality of life, mainly because they know no difference, and are grateful for what they have even if that is dirty water.



Makes one grateful for the simple things in life, like

CLEAN WATER



My Running World

Welcome to my blog, where my mouth (words) run faster then I do..

According to Webster the definition of run is “to move swiftly on foot so that both feet leave the ground during each stride.”

I am not sure that is what I actually do when I run, but after looking at 40 pages and 12,916 words that defined, described or “thesaurused” the word run and it variations I decided that the first one listed sounded the best!

I want you all to know that I do not yet have one of the 50 plus iPhone applications dedicated to running, like trailguru or cando26.2. Although I think I might check out the one called www.mapmyrun.com!

And just for the record I run in a K SWISS K-ONA, yes that is right a K SWISS – and I love them. I have two pairs and I alternate wearing them each day.  They have to last me for over a year!

I think my kids would disown me if they caught me running in the “Vibram FiveFingers”…

I am WICKED but not that CRAZY!

My running “Trail” in Thailand…

It is almost like running in heaven, well except for the temperature and humidity!

WICKED

Now that I am over 50, I am exactly 50 years 1 month and 1 day; I have determined that I am going to be physically fit so as to defy gravity. “WICKED” huh...

“Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by

The rules of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes and leap...”

Or in my case run, hike, swim and maybe even ZUMBA!

I am having so much fun being physically fit at FIFTY! For me, it is merely not just exercise for the physical carcass (I think I have some dead weight somewhere) that needs the movement but it is my psyche. It is a proven fact: A 50 year old who exercises 3X a week has a 38% less of a chance of developing Alzheimer’s. (Really do you want me forgetting who you are and making up stories about you – I have a very creative side, that’s right I think not.) It has been demonstrated that women, (sorry men) who exercise regularly have increased blood flow to the brain – that is additional oxygen that is used to help with keeping our memory! (That is why fit women never forget!) The extra oxygen is a bonus; my real reason for running these days is what it does for my soul. When I am running, especially with the SUN and alone, I get into “MY” zone. I don’t have to think, my body just puts one foot in front of the other. My music carries me away to another time and place, I can feel my breathing starting to get louder, my heart starts beating like a young teenager in LOVE – and I disappear. When I have completed the 45 minutes of soul changing bliss – my mind returns alive and clear, my breathing and heart beat slow to a normal pace and the sweat beads are shaken off and discarded with my problems and concerns. I have come back home a new creature ready to take on the day! So I say I am going to defy gravity by continuing to run…with the SUN

“I'm through accepting limits

Cuz someone says they're so

Some things I cannot change

But till I try I'll never know…

It's time to try

Defying gravity

I think I'll try

Defying gravity

And you can't pull me down!

Just call me “WICKED”!!

Sunshine Boy

Twenty four years ago today, I found myself holding my second child, David.

David was a most unusual child so I had to learn to adapt to his unusual behavior.  Over the past twenty four years it has been David's goal to make me smile!  At a very early age I nicked name him "SUNSHINE BOY" and to this day it is an endearment that both of us still use.  I was looking at old pictures of David over the years and just found my self smiling all over again... 

Lets see if he makes you smile too!

Happy Birthday Sunshine Boy

Mommy Loves YOU!!

Thanks for being a constant source of... humor and light in my life!

The Golden Mount

One of the excursions that Laura and I went on this past week, was a walking tour though a part of Bangkok.  I instructed Sayan, our driver, to drop off us at the Golden Mount and told him to pick us up at Pak Klong flower market, about 4K south of the mount.  Neither of us speak Thai and I am sure that our driver was a little nervous just dropping two "Farang" (Slang Thai for lighter skinned people) in the middle of one of the busiest cities in Asia.  Laura and I got out of our van armed with two cell phones, a Bangkok guide book, camera, city street map and my iPad with a wonderful map application!  We were ready, the first thing we had to do is find the entrance to the Golden Mount.  That took a couple of tries but finally we decided to follow the "golden arrows" - hey that is what you get with two independent blonds. 

The construction of the Golden Mount and Wat (Temple) Saket began in 1865.  The Golden Mount Chedi houses some of Buddha's Relics given to the King by Indian Government in 1899.  The Golden Mount is a very sacred sit for the Thai people.

After our visit to the mount, we made out way back down all the stairs and back onto the streets of Bangkok.  We must have looked pretty touristy, Laura had the guide book and map while I was watching the moving dot, which was us, move down the street. Man do I love technology!  We past several temples and wound out way into a little alley called Monk's Bowl.  This is one of three alleys where the families that live here make the bowls that the Monks use to ask for offerings.  It was very interesting and so far removed from the factory made objects.

We then made our way to a 7-11, Oh thank Heaven, for some refreshment for our dry throats.  The temperature was only about 93 with humidity high as a afternoon thunderstorm was rolling in.  I will never understand why we always decided to explore when it is so hot and muggy, but we do.  The sights and sounds that you get from walking the streets is so much more fascinating then driving by in a car.  Like Hong Kong, Bangkok has some petty nasty smells...and it is dirty! Hand sanitizer is a must on this trips, Bath and Body works never smelled so good.  After three hours of exploring the city streets we called the driver and he was right across the street. The iPad got us to our pick up place, and we hopped in the cool air conditioned car thankful for all we had seen and for all the wonderful things that make our life better.

Ten Day Blog Hiatus is OVER

I went on a ten day blog hiatus not because I wanted to but because I was just lazy.  At least I am truthful.  Laura and I have been doing a little bit of this and a little bit of that the past ten days.  Hope the photos speak for themselves.  If not then I am going to have to type a thousand words for each photo, that would be 24,000 words and I am sure that I am not capable of writing that many, speaking that many is a different matter altogether!!

Shopping Extravaganza



Historical and Religious Excursions

Looking to buy our Second CAR!!

Now that is a Little Bit of this and a Little bit of that.  Laura and I do try to keep ourselves busy!!