Bronte Country - An English Adventure

"If adventures will not befall a young lady in her own village, she must seek them abroad." 

Jane Austen from her novel Northanger Abbey.

We I last left off we were deep in Dracula Country, which I am grateful to have left as our next adventure took us to Bronte Country.  While I am a Jane Austen fan I do like to change it up a bit and read a Bronte novel. By that I mean, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.  I am not a big fan of Wuthering Heights by her sister Emily, nor her sister Anne's novel The Tenant of Wildfell Hall. Charlotte Bronte completed four novels, Anne wrote two and Emily just one.  by far my favorite it Jane Eyre and as I have read it many times, watched the different movie adaptations I longed to see the moors of which she describes. 

Finally I was in Bronte Country...

Ron and I took a step back in time and visited the Parsonage Museum in Haworth, England; the home of the Bronte family from 1820 -1860.  Charlotte's father became the curate for the church in 1820 and the family moved to the parsonage. Today the parsonage holds much of the original Bronte household items as well as manuscripts, journal and photos. I loved everything about Haworth and the surrounding countryside. 

What is not to love about Bronte Country...Nothing 

Always Looking for an Adventure - UK

"If adventures will not befall a young lady in her own village, she must seek them abroad." 

Jane Austen from her novel Northanger Abbey.

I have taken this quote to heart and have found adventures all over the world.  For me it is not just to travel and check of a visited this state or that country list but it is to immerse myself in the culture and to mingle with those around me. Having moved back to the United States a little over a year ago after living in Asia for the pervious eight years I was feeling the need for a little adventure.  Whilst, using my proper English, thinking about where to go I decided to fulfill one of my life long dreams of visit the United Kingdom.  The first proper English novel I remember reading was Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen.  I must have been around 14 years old. It was that book that started my love affair with the Regency English period, 1810-1820.  Since then I have branched out into all things English, except music!  It was just a few months ago I listened to forty-six lectures on the Stuart and Tudor lines in English history.  My favorite shows are on the BBC channels and my novels of choice are usually all set England or Scotland!  So it was no big surprise to my husband of where I was planning our next adventure.  August 1st - August 22nd we were going on a road trip through-out the country side of England, Scotland and Wales.  Places I had read about and had dreamed about visiting since I was fourteen.

Dover Dover - send Heidi right over! 

Dover Castle looking over to France

White Cliffs of Dover

Our first stop was to visit the Kent area and to see the famous White Cliffs of Dover.  Looking out over the English Channel we could see Calais, France.  We ate fish and chips, the first of many on this trip, while looking out on the English Channel and asking ourselves why anyone would want to swim it- we didn't! 

Canterbury Tales

Canterbury was the first cathedral we visited.  It was the place where Thomas Becket, the Archbishop of Canterbury, was murdered in December 1170.  The cathedral is a stunning edifice and truly a work of craftsmanship which was started in 1066.

Dracula By Day

Moving up the coast we visited the little coastal town of Whitby, England home of setting for Dracula.  The port town was quaint and enjoyed the best fish n chips I have ever tasted! Neither Ron or I had read the novel so we quickly download it, thank you online library, and started listening.  About half way through I am saying out loud to the speaker - just get the stake and kill the thing!  I found the novel to be a bid boring and repetitive - so much for my GOTH side.

This adventure has been amazing....and a trip not soon to be forgotten!

It's all about FAMILY

"Family - where life begins and love never ends"

This quote is written on the tile sitting under my family photo on my entry wall.  I am reminded how important family is each time I pass it.  My recent adventures overseas have taken me to the United Kingdom: England, Scotland and Wales.  Having spent a little more then three weeks driving the countryside I have felt rejuvenated and my soul has been lifted.  I have connected with my English and Scottish roots and have a deepening sense of from whence my ancestors came.  I marvel at their unique individual stories and the decisions they made to leave home and family and to immigrate into America for a better life. I am eternally grateful for their courage and strength to brave a new beginning.

"Family, where life begins and love never ends."

Henry Joseph Walk
1854-1930
My 2nd Great Grandfather

1A Addington Street
Margate, Kent, England

While southeastern part of England I located the birth home of my great great grandfather, Henry Joseph Walk. It may not have been painted the blue color but it is still standing in Margate, England.


Just being in front of this home gave me a profound sense of family and belonging to something bigger then myself.

Harriet Ann Franklin Walk
My 3rd great Grandmother

Cemetery Margate England 

I as surprised at the emotion that I felt just standing on the street taking a few photographs.  I walked around the block a few times and noticed that most of the buildings standing would have been right there in 1854 when he was born.

 I found the abandoned cemetery where I believe his parents were buried, according to records that I have.  It was just sad to see it gated, locked and in such a state of ruin.



How I would have love to have gone in and searched for the headstones of my great great great grandparents, pictured on the left, and cleaned them as a sign of respect to - but unfortunately I was unable to locate someone who could help me get in. Cemeteries are a haven of peace and belonging for me, they tell stories and help us to connect with the past.

While in Scotland I was unable to locate the exact addresses of my Hamilton ancestors but I was able to get street photos of the buildings that they would have lived in.

David James Hamilton was married to Ellen Riddel in Paisley, Renfrewshire Scotland on February 18, 1858.  The marriage was registered in the Paisley  Abbey, which was built around 1163.

Connecting with the past gives me a wonderful sense of belonging to my family even if I have never met them and death separates us, because family love never ends.

Good Grief

For some months now I have been pondering on what grief is and how and why I still grieve years after the loss. 

According to Wikipedia “Grief is a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed…Grief is the reaction to that loss.  Grief is a natural response to loss. It is the emotional suffering one feels when something or someone the individual loves is taken away.”

I understand and agree with Wikipedia but as I have been contemplating and reflecting on my life I have come to discover certain things about grief and the grieving process for me that I want to remember, so hence the blog post.

I was watching a friend last month who had lost a daughter some 25 years ago and the grief appeared to be felt just as strong as it was in the days following her death, I wondered why.  I then thought of my own father ‘s death some 5 years ago and how much it still affects me.

As I was in deep thought one day during the holiday season it came to me as to why I still grieved the loss of my father.  It wasn’t just that I missed his physical presence in my life, which I do, it was that I grieved all the things that might have been.  I wanted so much for him and my mom to come and visit me in Thailand, and to share my experience with them. They had tickets and were scheduled to leave two days after his scheduled doctor’s appointment for a cough. They never made that flight because he was told in that visit that he had cancer. As I write this post the tears are flowing, because I realize that the three weeks that he would have spent with me in Thailand in October of 2011 would not have affected the outcome.  But those weeks would have meant the WORLD to me.  I still grieve the experiences I could have shared with my Dad.  He would have loved Thailand.  A few years later I did bring my mom, but the grief for what I missed not having my dad there was still present.

The first thing that I learned about grief, or my reaction to loss, was that the continued process of grieving for me is longing to share experiences with someone that is no longer a part of your life.

The second thing I learned about my own grief is it is okay for me to grieve over the loss of something. Grief doesn’t necessarily have do with the death of a person. 

My mind went to the fact that my children are grown and have flown the coop, and I am proud of all four of them!  Yet, I feel the loss of being a full-time mother, my reality for 34 years of my life.  No don’t get me wrong I am loving being an empty nester, but the loss is still felt by me as I work to reinvent myself.

The other thing I thought of was the loss of friendships due to changes in our lives.  We grow up, we move, we marry and have a family and careers.  All of those are wonderful things and yet sometimes important friendships get lost along the way.  I felt it acutely when I left to live in Asia.  Expats will certainly understand when I say that relationships and friendships become your lifeline to sanity and reality when you live overseas.  After being gone for so many years I learned who my true friends were and who I could count on, but I still felt the loss of friendships for others that didn't last the passing of time.  I learned that in this life relationships matter.  We should matter to each other.  I am sorry for the loss of friendships of the past and I am working hard to let people in my life know now that they are valued and important. 

In my pondering, I discovered that grief has been good for me.  It has taught me things about myself that I would not have learned any other way.  I will still grieve, but in my grieving, I will learn to love more, appreciate time spend with those important to me and I will cherish the memories!  Good Grief!

Leaving Worry Behind

For the last eight years I have sought to come up with a yearly mantra for which I could focus my intentions and personal direction in the coming year.  I find that New Years resolutions just do not work for me. But, if I have a mantra that becomes my goal and life motto for the year I find I can learn, grow and progress forward into becoming a better person, daughter, wife, mother and friend.
My mantra for 2018 is...

"Leave Worry and Fear Behind and TRUST in Him who is Divine"

I truly believe that when they test my DNA they will find that I have a special molecule that contains a "worry" code.  Worrying about things is part of my genetic make-up!  Try as I might to be at peace, I worry.  Ron tells me to go ahead and worry about things, as 99.5% of the things that I worry about never happen. Why do I focus so many waking hours worrying about things most likely will not happen?  That is the million dollar question.  

Definition

wor·ry /wərē/ come from the Old English word:  wyrgan which means ‘strangle.’ 

  Verb: give way to anxiety or unease; allow one's mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles. 

  Noun: a state of anxiety and uncertainty over actual or potential problems.

So basically I strangle myself when I worry!  The definition suggests that I give way to feelings of anxiety and uneasiness and allow trouble and difficulties to be ever present in my mind...DUH that seems a little obvious.  And apparently that is not all, I seem to be in a state of uncertainly over actual or potential problems.  DUH again!  This is exactly what so many of my thought are about.  Now, don't get me wrong.  Worrying doesn't seem to interfere with my eating habits or daily routines.  Sometimes I wish it did - losing weight would be simple!  I just think I think too much.  And much of that thinking is thinking of potential problems or events.  One positive outcome of worrying is that I really work hard at being prepared.  Worrying can cause one to prevent things from happening, can help one stay out of debt and can anticipate issues and help others in need - because people like me worried and then did something about it!  (See how I can make even the act of worrying a positive - I worry that I am sounding too negative with my post!)

My issue is not that I think I worry to much, but that I might let my worrying block some of the JOY of everyday life.  My favorite scripture is Proverbs 3: 5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths." Sometimes I ask myself, if I truly trusted in the Lord would I worry?  However, I do TRUST Him and I TRUST in Him; so why do I worry?  Why do I allow my mind to "dwell on difficulties, troubles, problems or uncertainty?  Maybe it is because I have no control over other people and many situations.  My DNA makeup also has the gene for organization and I think that is a control issue.  Maybe I worry about things I can't control! 

What I need to do is let go of the things that occupy my mind that I have no control over and turn those issues over to the Lord, and then He can direct my path - because I just don't understand so many things.  Like why can't people of all races, religions and creeds just be nice and kind? What happened to civility?  Why can't we just get rid of addictions of all kinds?  Why can't families learn to love, trust and respect each other?  Why does it seem that GUNS have become the answer to people problems?  Those are just some of the things that rattle around in my mind and cause me to worry for my children and my grandchildren.  I worry about the choices that others could make that could effect them.  I have other issues and worries that are more of a personal nature.  I will need this year to ponder, reflect and think about them in my own time.  But, for this year I will try to live by my mantra...

"Leave Worry and Fear Behind and TRUST in Him who is Divine"

Year of Change

This past year has been one of changes.  As I write my one and only blog post for 2017 it causes me to reflect on all that has taken place this past year.  My mantra for 2017 was...

"Life is about change, embracing life means to welcome change"

2017 was a year full of changes and a time for us to embrace what life gives us.  Here are just a few the changes we embraced!

Elk Ridge Utah

Moved from Thailand back to our native United States having lived in Asia for almost eight years.

Packing boxes in Thailand

Completed the building of our new home in Elk Ridge Utah and MOVED in!

               

New Home

     

Unpacking the Kitchen

Traveled to Australia for the first time and enjoyed some time DOWN-UNDER.

 

 Road Trip to Seattle TWICE, once for some fun cabin time on Whidbey Island.

Birth of grandchild #5, Olivia Leigh Gailey.

Eye Surgery - Twice - getting older stinks

Having new adventures Bike Riding - no geckos or lizards here.

Road Trip to DALLAS - there is nothing between Dallas and the Grand Canyon.

                             

First Real FAMILY Christmas in SIX years.

Luminaria

                       

          

First Snowmen or Snowboys

Table is Set

John is cooking Beef Wellington!

Nativity

My Mantra was indeed perfect for 2017 and farewell to a busy and ever changing year.  Looking for forward to what 2018 has in store for me. 

 

三十六 = 36

Thirty-six years ago I married Ron Paul Gailey and my life adventure really begins there.   In those years we...

• Have lived in 7 different homes, from Utah to Seattle to Hong Kong and then to Thailand and we are currently building a new home in Elk Ridge, Utah.
• Ten different cars have been owned and driven by us.
• Four children have blessed our lives calling us Mom and Dad.
• Three other children have come into our lives through marriage.
• Four grandchildren now call us Nana and Papa.
• Ron graduated from college, earned an MBA and I recently went back to school.
• Both of our sons have served full-time 2 year missions for our church.
• Three of our children have graduated from college and one is attending now.
• All adult family members have been certified to scuba dive.
• Ron and I have visited China, Laos, Vietnam, Bali, Indonesia, Malaysia, Burma (Myanmar), Philippines, Cambodia, Korea, Japan and Switzerland in just the last six of those years.
• Ron worked for Zion's Bank and then 20 years at Washington Mutual Bank and is currently with Coca Cola.
• AND I have survived breast cancer TWICE. 

So many more things have happened in the last 36 years and many of them are are listed in the journals that Ron has so wonderfully kept for most of those years.  I am grateful for his wisdom and willingness to keep a written record of our life together so we can remember all the ways the Lord has blessed us.

Ron and I are currently in Penang Malaysia celebrating 三十六, which is 36 in Mandarin, so it was off to the world famous Din Tai Fung for Chinese Dumplings.  

Happy 三十六 !!!