I have been experiencing some growing pains lately. Although I have been done growing physically for about 30 years, I continue to grow emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually. So, the growing pains that I have been experience have nothing to do with my physical tabernacle. In fact over the last year my physically tabernacle has been getting smaller , having actually lost some "CHEMO" weight that has been hanging on to me since 2001.
Today I was thinking of how much I have grown in the last ten years. Cancer really changed my life - how I live, how I think and what is important. Now, lest you think that all of the growing was easy and came naturally, it did not. As I look at my life I see that when I grew the most during some of the most difficult times of my life. Right now I am having growing pains again, my arms are being stretched from Thailand to the Pacific Northwest! How do I give Austin a hug via SKYPE? How do I smell that Austin smell, you know the good baby smell not the "what did you do Austin?" smell, across the great waters of the Pacific Ocean? Last I checked skype is not a "smellyavision". When I saw Austin last Friday night I couldn't believe how much he had grown in a week! What will a year bring? Growing pains are being felt and I am trying to work through them.
I do not believe in evolution like Mr. Darwin - but I have come to believe in the some of the "fittest survive" or another way Darwin said it was "better adapted for immediate, local environment"! I have to say that in the last 10 months living in Asia I have learned to adapt to my local environment...so much so that today when I picked up the "Walker Boys", John's friends from Hong Kong, I was transported back to Asia for a second, while I was driving. I turned on to a street and began driving on the left side of the road! What a Hong Kong moment that was - I realized that I had adapted to my Asian environment just by looking and seeing those young men again! Thankfully no cars were driving on that downtown SLC street - it was after all Sunday morning and things were a little quiet! Growing pains could have been a real PAIN!
I would be telling a white lie if I said that I have never really felt any physical pains from all this growing. Not to long ago I said goodbye to a friend, and my head and heart ached for days. It amazes me how emotional and mental pains can cause very real physical pain. I learned this the hard way.
I would also be telling a lie if I let you think for one minute that growing older doesn't cause any pain, it does both physical and emotional. Physically my body can't do what I want it to do which then brings on the emotional pain of realizing that I am not 25 any longer -but pushing double that! Mentally I feel like I am in my twenties while physically I am going to be FIFTY! Talk about some growing pains!
I would like to close with a quote from Mary Tyler Moore,
"Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.”
So I am going to do some more growing and I know it will involve some pain but I am determined to "practice being brave" by taking chances and learning from my mistakes and by realizing that growing pains are helping me be the very best ME!!
