Loyalty Lesson Learned

As I was sitting in church today I was pondering upon the word loyalty.  What is loyalty?  Am I loyal to the Lord, to my husband and to my family?  These thoughts were rushing through my mind as I sat quietly on the pew, reflecting.

Loyalty: A feeling or attitude of devoted attachment and affection, a feeling of faithfulness or allegiance.

Loyalty to The Lord

While pondering I was reminded of an article that I read not to long ago entitled “The First Great Commandment” written by Jeffery R. Holland. 

In the article he writes about the experience of Christ disciples after His death on the Sea of Galilee..

“Jesus said to His senior Apostle, “Peter, do you love me more than you love all this?” Peter said, “Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee.” The Savior responds to that reply but continues to look into the eyes of His disciple and says again, “Peter, do you love me?” Undoubtedly confused a bit by the repetition of the question, the great fisherman answers a second time, “Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee.” The Savior again gives a brief response, but with relentless scrutiny He asks for the third time, “Peter, do you love me?” By now surely Peter is feeling truly uncomfortable. Perhaps there is in his heart the memory of only a few days earlier when he had been asked another question three times and he had answered equally emphatically—but in the negative. Or perhaps he began to wonder if he misunderstood the Master Teacher’s question. Or perhaps he was searching his heart; seeking honest confirmation of the answer he had given so readily, almost automatically. Whatever his feelings, Peter said for the third time, “Lord, … thou knowest that I love thee.”

To which Jesus responded (and here again I acknowledge my non-scriptural elaboration), perhaps saying something like: “Then Peter, why are you here? Why are we back on this same shore, by these same nets, having this same conversation? Wasn’t it obvious then and isn’t it obvious now that if I want fish, I can get fish? What I need, Peter, are disciples—and I need them forever. I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do. Ours is not a feeble message. It is not a fleeting task. It is not hapless; it is not hopeless; it is not to be consigned to the ash heap of history. It is the work of Almighty God, and it is to change the world. So, Peter, for the second and presumably the last time, I am asking you to leave all this and to go teach and testify, labor and serve loyally until the day in which they will do to you exactly what they did to me.”

 “I am not certain just what our experience will be on Judgment Day, but I will be very surprised if at some point in that conversation, God does not ask us exactly what Christ Peter: “Did you love me?” I think He will want to know if in our very mortal, very inadequate, and sometimes childish grasp of things, did we at least understand one commandment, the first and greatest commandment of them all—“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind.” And if at such a moment we can stammer out, “Yea, Lord, thou knowest that I love thee,” then He may remind us that the crowning characteristic of love is always loyalty.”

The Lord demands and expects our loyalty, not just on Sunday but every day.  What does it mean to be a Christian?  What does it mean to be loyal to Him?

It means to be like Christ, love Christ – be loyal to Him and His teachings.  Standing for truth and righteousness everyday even in the face of opposition.

I am a Christian and I love the Lord and I will always be loyal to Him that has given me life.

Loyalty to my husband and family:

I have learned over the last few years that loyalty to your spouse and family requires work…sometimes that work is exhausting, time consuming and never ending. 

If I use a synonym for the word loyalty I might use fidelity, which implies the unfailing fulfillment of one's duties and obligations and strict adherence to vows or promises.

As a wife and mother I feel an obligation to fulfill my duties whether or not I am thanked, rewarded, or acknowledged for accomplishing all that lies before me.  At times I feel like I am a heart surgeon, psychologist, professor, referee, chef, maid, activities coordinator, executive assistant and attitude adjuster! That requires planning and work…but I have come to believe in the words of Woodrow Wilson, “Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice.”  

Being a GOOD wife and mother means that you live the principle of self-sacrifice.  It means living a Christ like life.  It is the giving of your self so others might enjoy life and be happy.  The lesson that I have learned is that by being loyal and giving of myself I am the one that has learned to love life.  I am the one that receives the blessing of peace and Joy. 

I am a wife and mother and I love my family.  I will always be loyal to those that enrich my life.  It is hard work and yet the rewards and blessing are so great.

Loyalty Lesson Learned !!

Facebook February

One week in February I decided to dedicate my Facebook status to my children.  I wanted to keep a record of what I wrote in my blog.  I am not sure why but each time I wrote the entries became longer, by the end I had my writers hat on and the words just typed themselves.  I love each of my children equally and sometimes there are not words that I can use to describe my love for them...so please do not judge my love for them by the length of my facebook post! 


First up is Audrey Gailey Forsberg. Audrey you are my first born and I still remember that overwhelming feeling of responsibility when they placed you in my arms for the first time. I admire your willingness to stand by your principles, you know what is best for you and are willing to sacrifice for what you desire.

As the oldest you have been a wonderful example to David, Laura and John. They have all looked up to you. I know that being the oldest is a big responsibility but you are equal to the task. I love to talk to you, laugh with you and cry with you at times! I even like to RUN with you! You have given me a precious grandson whom I love with all my heart! Audrey never forget who you are and what is important. I love you - always yours! MOM 

Day two is dedicated to my Son (in law) Toren Forsberg. Toren and I have a lot in common, we share the same birthday, we both do not like he color red and we both love the fact that he can tease Audrey! Toren is a closet Harry Potter want-to-be, and secretly can't wait to get his acceptance letter to Hogwarts! Toren is Audrey's best friend and I am okay with that - I like being second to a wonderful man! Toren is an amazing husband and father! Toren and Audrey make a great team and they are the team that is going to win it all in the end. 

Work has called Toren away from home many times the last few years which has been hard and stressful on the family - but he does what is asked of him so that he can provide for his family and I love and respect him for that. Toren is a true brother to David, John and Scott Sorensen - and for those reasons and so many other - I love you Toren and am grateful that you are my SON.  

Tuesday belongs to David E Gailey. David is also known to me as my SUNSHINE boy. When he was younger and a HANDFUL I had to always look for a positive spin on the things he did - so I would say that his job was to make me smile and laugh. David is a wonderful caring son,he is always wondering how I am "really" doing. He is a great listener - but then he is also a great communicator which when we are talking to each other can come in handy because be both multi task and listen and talk at the same time! It is a true talent. As I have watched David grow from a busy young boy, to a talented teenage, to a suit and cologne savvy young man to a honorable missionary, to a college graduate, to a loving husband and now to an amazing father I am impressed with his ability to adapt to change. To keep a positive outlook even when things appear to be going in the wrong direction. 

David is a hero in my life and someone that I can always count on. He keeps friendships and relationship alive and strong, especially with his sweetheart of a wife MandyGailey! I am grateful for his infectious smile - and he cracks me up when he just starts rapping about what ever he is doing at the moment. He is SUNSHINE to my soul and I love him.

Wednesdays Child....A poet once wrote .."Wednesdays child is full of woe.." and it is obvious that he had never met my daughter Mandy Gailey. For if he had the poem would read.."Wednesdays child is full of more..as in more love, more spirit and more energy then one small beautiful young mother and wife can possess! Mandy came into our family by choice and I am so glad that she did. If David is my sunshine then Mandy is my sunlight. When she walks into a room the room in an instant becomes brighter, warmer and just a little better! She has a way of making everyone in the room feel as if they are the most important person there. Mandy and David are a team - team "KELLAN", my little grandson! I want Mandy and everyone to know how proud I am of her. She had to be apart from David quite a number of times this past year and continued to be positive through it all! Mandy has a flair for fashion and I know I can count on her to let me never be a frumpy nana! (Mandy I am going to hold you to that!) 
The greatest thing that Mandy does is love my son and my grandson. There are so many things that I say about this beautiful woman - but I think that ..Wednesdays child is full of Moe - More of everything that is good and kind with a bit of curly hair and a smile that lights up any room! I love you Mandy!

Today is all about Laura Sorensen! I am not sure if the words that I type will fully describe Laura. We have a saying in our family...that secretly we all what to be like Laura when we grow up. Laura is the peacemaker in our family, she is the one that thinks of others and she always always tries to do the right thing - and she actually succeeds at it. Laura is the most creative one of the bunch - she is also a perfectionist so she spends a lot of time and energy making her projects amazing, from learning how to knit a lace scarf to putting together an ad campaign for JCP. She is just weird enough to want to learn how to write html - she bought a book about it- like i said a little weird. I had to tell Laura to stop doing her homework as it was already perfect and more then the teacher required. So you might call her an over achiever as well, but she is really good at that too! Laura has a child like faith in people and in her God. This faith is a part of her nature and it one of her greatest attributes. I think it is that part of her that each of us wants to be more like. I hope that the realities of the world will never change that quality - it is what makes Laura unique. 

Audrey and David were both settled when we left to live in Asia four years ago, Laura on the other hand had just graduated high school and a whole year earlier then she was supposed to and left for college when we left for Asia. I have always worried about her and wished that she could have a family close - and now she does. Last August she decided to become part of the Scott Sorensen family and I could be happier.

Laura has many nick names in our family - but the one I love the most is my Boo Bear or Boo for short. She has been my Boo for the past 22 years and no matter how old she gets she will always be my Boo! I Love you Boo Bear.
TGIF and Scott Sorensen is the Friday's child. Scott just appeared on Laura college doorstep one day while I was visiting her about 18 months ago. Little did I know that day that he would be part of our family. It was plain to see that he was "smitten" (hahaha) with Laura, but Laura was really not interested in him or anyone else! She was all about school, homework and sleep, usually in that order! Guys were okay if she got a free meal out of it - but Scott was different - Laura and I went to get something to eat and he followed with his brown paper bag of dinner he had already had. He sat down proudly with us at the sandwich shop and ate his meal. Over the next months they worked together at the university and then she was Thailand bound and thought that the friendship would end there. But lo and behold there is SKYPE and seeing Scotts face on the computer every morning (his night) became a daily occurrence. So one day I did the unthinkable and invited Scott to come for Christmas. What kind of mother does that - one that likes to see her daughter happy - well Scott came and became part of the family from then on. Early that year Scott had learned to scuba dive and that was probably the thing that sealed the deal, because to be in the gang you have to dive! 

One of the things that I love most about my son, Scott, besides the fact that he loves Laura. Is that he knows how special she is to our family and he knows that he is lucky to have found her. What I would like Scott to know is that Laura is lucky to have him. At the wedding Scott showed more love for his mom, Diane Sorensen then I had seen from a lot of young men in recent years and I knew that he would love and take care of Laura Sorensen her whole life! Scott is patient with Laura - she has a hard time making decisions (the perfectionist who wants to be right) and he waits for her to make up her mind with love and patience. Scott is willing to work hard and doesn't shy away from hard things or new experiences.  I am not sure why he keeps reminding us that he was born in Canada - is that something to be proud of - we try not to hold it against him! (LOL) Welcome into the Gailey Gang, Scott - I love you! "EH"

Saturday is a special day...It is finally John Gailey's Facebook Status day! He is the baby in the family - and yet he has done more and seen more in his short 17 years then all the other kids combined. It was not been easy to leave the comfort of home, friends and family and move to Asia when you are just beginning high school. Yet, John did it and made it look effortless - but I as his mother know how hard it was. John first attended and made new friends in Hong Kong but then after his freshman year we were moving again this time to Thailand. That is the life of an expat kid - move and start over. It makes it difficult to make friends and to feel a part of school when you are switching so much. John had a rough 4 months in Thailand and then he met his "Ausssie Soulmate", Stuart Buchan and they have been friends ever since. So much so that Stuart is now living with us to finish their senior year together.

John reminds me everyday that I am going to miss him next year ( and I will). His goal this year is to tease me until he is in college and even then I don't think it will stop. I am very fortunate to have had some incredible experiences with John. Not many young men consider their mom their "BEST" friend - but John does. We travel the globe together - he is the best travelling companion - all he needs is his computer, Ipod, headphones and a snack every once in awhile! John has taught me a lot about science, his favorite subject to talk about. Currently he is all about Physics, and when he took the ACT test he correctly answered all the questions in the science portion! What a NERD!

John has had his share of physical pain - with his hematoma on his right knee and then with the torn ACL on his left knee - but it doesn't seem to slow him down. This week for a school sponsored trip he was in New Zealand -surfing and hiking! I am very proud of how he has handled the physical set backs - especially when it came to not playing rugby. He is the best scuba diving buddy, and road trip partner that I could ask for!
John is loyal, to his family, friends and principles. It is a quality that I deeply admire. John has an extraordinary ability to make people feel comfortable - he is one of the most non-judgmental people I know. He respects his friends in making their decision if they will respect him with his. He values his ability to choose and make choice for himself - and I am happy to say that he tries hard to make the right choice - not something that all teenagers do when confronted with peer pressure. 

As Ron has been traveling 3 weeks out of each month, John has become the person that I can turn to for a hug or a kiss on the cheek when I am having a bad day. I love him for showing love to me at an age where it might be uncool to do so. (He kissed me on the cheek a few months back right in the middle of the cafeteria - that scored him big points with the teenage girls ) John still allows me to perform my "MOMMY" duties and tuck him bed at night - it is a highlight of my day. SO, thank you John for allowing me to be your mom and you are right I am going to miss you next year!
John, Johnny, JBG, JDawg and what ever else I call you, please know that I love you a "ZILLION" swedish fish!

Intentions Please

While studying my scriptures this past week I came across a word that has had me thinking all week.  Not a phrase, not a verse just one little word.  The word that I can't seem to get out of my head is "INTENT". 

The first thing I wrote down in my study journal was ...

What is my intent?  What is my motivation? What do I really want?

Since the original word was "intent" I looked it up in the dictionary.

Intent: the state of mind with which an act is done, a usually clearly formulated or planned intention.  Thank you Mr. Webster!

Now on to the part that caused me to think...I read a quote a while ago by Wayne Dryer, "Our intentions creates our reality"  I think what Dr. Dryer is saying is that our intentions shape the choices we make and the eventual outcome of what we choose.  Our intentions shape our personal vision, our beliefs, values, habits and in the end our actions.  There are two kinds of intentions, conscious and unconscious. I am focusing on conscious intentions - because I am the one thinking!!

Conscious intentions = choices of how to act = our intended outcome

I learn a valuable lesson long ago from a friend - "you own your words". If I want to own my outcome or reality I have to own my intentions, first by visualizing the intended reality or outcome then saying that vision out loud followed by writing it down.  I feel that by following these steps I would have a better chance of realizing and achieving my own personal dream,outcome, and I would be creating my reality.  To me it is very simple - if you don't like where you're reality is heading, change your intentions! 

I would be the first one to tell you that I have had an amazing 52 years in my reality.  I don't regret one moment - but then the thought came to me "could I have something better?"  Now since I already think I have a great life how can I vision anything better, I can't but God can.

So with that thought in my head I started to see if I could vision something better...even if I can see it clearly yet.

Ron and Heidi 1980

The first thing that came to my mind was my relationship with my husband and our marriage.  After 32 great years I have no complaints, but can I vision it better?  If I want a better relationship with Ron, what are my intentions!  What choices do I have?  How do I act in order to achieve the desired outcome?  

What if I apply the same principle to my relationships with my children, which by the way I think are fantastic, but could they be better?  Of course the answer is yes - then what do I intend to do about it?  What are the choices that will help me to attain my reality?

What if I did the same thing for others in my life?

What if I wanted a better understanding of my role as a daughter of God?  What am I doing to accomplish that desire?  What are my true intentions and actions?  Will they help me to attain that desired understanding?

Look were one little word took me this week.  I love to learn and I have a desire to make my reality the best that it can be - that means I will continue to ask questions, continue to improve and to make sure that  my intentions are going to take me to my dreams of something better.  The dream that God has visions for me.

If I want it, work for it and live it I can achieve it!

Empty Nests are for BIRDS

This week I am home alone... like all alone.  It is my practice run for when the baby bird, John graduates and is off being a responsible 18 year old! I will become part of the new exciting club called "Empty Nesters"

Ron left last Thursday for the 10 days in the states, and the rest left on Friday and Saturday for school planned trips. I will have 7 days here in our Thailand home by myself.

Friday I was excited and by 11:00pm Saturday night I knew that it was going to be a lot harder then I thought.  I have way to much time to think! Empty Nest, really means it is time to reinvent myself and find something else besides children,school, sports, and PTA.  I have been an active member of PTA for the past 25 years, that is way too long.  I really tried to downsize my PTA and school involvement this year - that didn't go over so well. The PTA was looking for someone to help with the graduation committee for 2013 and since John will be graduating I thought I could help.  Next thing I know I am the graduation committee!!  So I will bid farewell to the PTA and close a chapter of my life on June 7, 2013 at the graduation ceremonies of the class of 2013!

So in the spirit of reinventing myself - I first have to remember myself. so this week is set aside to go back and catch up on my blog entries - they will not be anything fancy - I just need to record my activities and thoughts from the past few months so in my empty nester time I will not forget!

Empty Nests are for the BIRDS!

Everything Starts with ONE

"Everything starts with ONE" were the words my trainer JT said to me this morning.  That phrase has stayed with me all day.  I have though about it and thought about and realized it was just want I need to hear.  I have had a very hard time finding time to sit down and write on my blog, okay let me be honest I could have found the time but I just didn't know where to begin.  Every time I opened up to write a blog I would see the picture of me and my father and then I just couldn't write.  I realized that JT was right everything starts with "ONE".  I only had to write one word and the rest would follow.

Everything starts with ONE...

It can be easy as completing my goal of completing 10 sit ups on the reclining bench at the gym today!  For some of you that may not seem like very many - but for me it was a major victory!  I started out 4 months ago with ONE and my trainer help me to do the other 9, today I did 10 perfect full sit-ups on that incline!  It started with ONE!

It can be as hard as letting go of "ONE" thing in your life that is making you doubt yourself and your self worth.  I have always suffered from lack of self esteem, born from childhood issues.  Many would be shocked to find out that my inner personal stuggles would include a feeling of what I term as "less then".  I have had to learn to let go of the "ONE" major regret in my life that was causing me to feel "less then".  I started to heal and learn to be happy with who I am and what I am becoming. Starting with ONE changed my life for the better!

It only takes "ONE" kind word to make someone happy - and it can only take "ONE" destructive word to darken relationships.  It only takes "ONE" helping hand to make the world a better place, while it can only take "ONE" violent hand to change a school, place of business, home or family and even a country.

Everything starts with ONE..

ONE Thought, ONE word, ONE look, ONE action to make a change.  I want to be the ONE that starts a change for good.

Everything begins with ONE...

Guardian Angel

I have been thinking about dad all day.  After the funeral on November 2nd, I kept waiting for the realization of loss of my fathers earthly existence to hit me like a ton of bricks.  The feeling never came, yet I still thought it might happen so I waited.


Then on the day that John was scheduled for surgery, in Bangkok, while I was still in the US helping mom, something changed.  First, let me say that I have never been away from any of my children when they have had to have a major operation or even any kind of medical emergency.  My heart was being pulled apart by miles, 7438.57 miles to be exact!  I could almost feel it being torn apart, it was painful and I could find no comfort.  As I knelt to pray for the second time that night - I plead with my Father in Heaven, with all the tender mercies of a parent, that John would be alright and know that I loved him.  With tears pouring from my eyes and with a shaky voice I humbly asked, " Heavenly Father, if I can not be with my son, John at this critical time -could you please send my dad to be his guardian angel while he is in surgery."  As soon as I said those words the most calming peaceful feeling came over me.  It was as if I was encircled in the arms of not only my Heavenly Father but my earthy father as well.

President Joseph F. Smith once said,

"I believe we move and have our being in the presence of heavenly messengers and of heavenly beings. We are not separate from them. … We are closely related to our kindred, to our ancestors … who have preceded us into the spirit world. We can not forget them; we do not cease to love them; we always hold them in our hearts, in memory, and thus we are associated and united to them by ties that we can not break. … If this is the case with us in our finite condition, surrounded by our mortal weaknesses, … how much more certain it is … to believe that those who have been faithful, who have gone beyond … can see us better than we can see them; that they know us better than we know them. … We live in their presence, they see us, they are solicitous for our welfare, they love us now more than ever. For now they see the dangers that beset us; … their love for us and their desire for our well being must be greater than that which we feel for ourselves."

My dad lives and is watching me and is "soliciting for my welfare".  He is my Guardian Angel.

Good Bye Dad

It is with a very sad heart that I write this blog.  Today I spoke at the funeral of my father.  He was diagnosed with lung cancer a year ago two days before they were to come and visit me in Thailand.  It was a long hard battle that ended on October 24, 2012.

On Saturday October 20 I called and talked to my dad, little did I know that it would be my last conversation with him.  We had a wonderful talk full of laughter and stories.  I told him that I was off to the Philippines with John and Ron the next day so that it might be hard for me to talk to him the next week. He lovingly said no worries he wasn't planning on going anywhere.  We talk about me coming for a visit after Christmas as both John and Ron were scheduled for surgery the middle of November.  John needed to have his right ACL repaired and Ron had to have a hernia repaired.  He told me about his recent doctor's visit and that he had decided to forgo any more treatments.  I said that I was in support of that decision, as for someone who had competed 6 months of chemo treatments, it is about quality of life.  We talked about what that decision  might mean and I told him that I loved him, that he was an amazing father and that I would always be there for mom.  He thanked me and told me to have a great time in the Philippines, we said love you and the call ended.

Wednesday morning on a very remote island in the Philippines i received a urgent email telling me to call home as soon as I could.  I grabbed Ron's blackberry and called my sister immediately.  She told me that dad was not going to last thru the night (it was Tuesday evening in the states) and I didn't understand.  I had just talked to him what happened in a few short days.  She explained to me that my dad had just took a turn for the worst and went down hill with in hours.  He was a home in bed barely getting oxygen and in extreme pain.  She told me Audrey, my oldest daughter, was there and was able to talk to her "Papa" one last time.  My heart was so heavy - it felt like someone was literally sitting on it.  My dad was gone.  I was never going to hear him say, " Carolina, (that is what he called my mom), number one is on the phone!"  Even as I write this the hole in my heart is gapping wide open and the tears flow easily.

I wasn't able to return to Bangkok until Saturday and then turned around and left for the US on Sunday morning.  When I landed in Seattle I had been traveling for almost 32 hours.  It was a crazy few days of trying to wrap my mind around the fact that my father was gone, and still to this day it seems unreal.  I am grateful for the love of family and friends who provided me with strength through their unceasing prayers, through their hugs - both physically and imagined, and through the memories they shared with me about how my father loved and cared for them.  When someone wonderful passes from this mortal existence it is comforting to know that they had touched so many lives.

We had a family viewing Thursday evening which was a tender sacred time for our family.  I felt so much love in that small room and knew that we would be all right because we loved one another.  My mom has been a source of strength as I watch her deal with the loss of her eternal companion, husband and best friend.  They were a team in life and will remain a team still.

I had the honor and privilege to be able to speak at the funeral.   Gene, my bother, did an amazing job speaking also.  The grandchildren and great grandchildren sang - it was a beautiful service.


 Ron and John were unable to be there due to school and surgery commitments.  David, Mandy and baby Kellan were not there either.  David is in New York working, Mandy and Kellan are in Ohio with her parents. They were all there in spirit and I was uplifted by their prayers and love.

My dad was a source of strength to me, his love for me never faltered - even when I did at times.   My life has been richly blessed because of my dad.   I am a better person for having the support of a wonderful father and an excellent mother.  I am indeed blessed.